live beautifully {on my heart}

(these pictures are not my own.  sources can be found here)

i believe

that the world 

is a beautiful, inspiring place,

filled with beautiful and inspiring people.

i believe

that life is best lived 

filled with love, laughter and spontaneity.

that there is good in every person

and a reason they are here on this earth.

i believe

that everything happens for a reason.

our struggles make us who we are,

allow us to help others along their own journey

and  are the only way we can truly appreciate the happy moments.

i believe

that those who have the least

actually have the most.

those who live the simplest

are the happiest.

i believe

in dreaming

and following those dreams 

however crazy and obscure they might be.

in wanting to do everything

go everywhere

and not having to choose one path

for the rest of your life.

i believe

in being completely humbled

by life

and by the

joy

of living.

a casual conversation

  











the other day,

i was sitting up in our music center 

talking to some friends

while i was waiting for one of my violin students to arrive.

the percussion teacher, Conrad, 

came and sat down  with us and asked about the  posters i had put up for homecoming.

He asked me:

"why do you want to be homecoming queen?"

my first response: "i don't know"

but then i thought more about it,

and began to explain

how i came to mansfield,

having spent high school not involved in much of anything

but wanting to turn over a new leaf,

and get involved. 

so i did. 

i joined hall council, activities council, mountie guides, residence life, etc.

and running for homecoming was the last thing i wanted to do

before i left and ventured forwards in life.

he replied:

"wow, it seems like you really found yourself here." 

his response took me a back a little.

and made me  think.

and think

and think.

and you know what?

he's right.

i spent much of my senior year of high school,

resisting the idea of college.

i applied to all of TWO schools,

the only two schools I could find that didn't have essays on their applications.

i was that unmotivated and against the idea of going to college.

upon acceptance,

i reluctantly  came up to mansfield for orientation.

declared a major just for the sake of declaring a major,

and started my freshman year.

from the first day,

i absolutely loved it (well, everything except my major) and

through a  series of  meaningful events,

i changed my major to music education.

since that change,

i've had days that have been very rewarding

and days

and days

of struggle.

i've failed  a few classes,

spent countless hours in tutoring,

been completely unmotivated to practice,

missed home,

had my heart broken,

been convinced i'd never get above a 40% on a dictation test,

lost friends,

reconnected with friends and

learned  the importance of knowing when to lead and when to follow.

but

it was all this struggle

and finally being out on my own

that helped me 

to find myself.

as people ,

we are constantly

growing,

moving,

changing,

learning,

but  i am so thankful for the past couple years

and i can't wait to see what is next on the journey

we call life.

on growing up

lately,
i've been  contemplating

 what life will be like

after college. 

what  my  next step will be

in this adventure

we call 

living.

the general expectation:

pursue a career as a music teacher.

but day after day, 

i realize this might not be exactly what i want to do,

right out of college.

don't get me wrong, 

i love music.

 i love teaching music.

but there are also many other areas

that hold my interest,

 that i love.

ever since traveling to India in 2008

i've had a passion 

for helping those who have been victims

of social injustices.

social injustices 

such as human trafficking.

i have some ideas

of ways that i could help those

who have been victimized .

ideas that involve music.

ideas that would involve

going back to school

and studying 

and studying

and studying some more

for a degree 

much different

than the one 

i'm working towards now.

for now though,

all i can do 

is dream of the future,

of the different 

paths and doors

that will (hopefully) open

in the next year or so,

be thankful

for the opportunities

and  blessings

i have in this country

and enjoy

the last few days

i have  here at school

studying music.

the beauty of music.

Lately, in a few of my classes, we have been talking about the importance of

music.

More specifically,

music education. 

Who should learn music? Why should we teach music? What impact does music have on education?

Obviously, being that I'm a music education major,

I feel pretty strongly  on the subject.

But today, 

I saw the importance of music education

in a very different light.

And  I'd be lying if I said it wasn't going to take me a few kleenex to get through this post.

You see, for the past three years,

I have been teaching violin lessons to an elderly woman. 

Every week for the past three years,

she has faithfully shown up extra early for her lesson,

with a lunch packed specifically for me.

She practices harder and longer than  most of the students at my university

and truly has a passion for the violin.

Today, we met up for the first time since Summer break.

I greeted her and asked her if she'd like to schedule our lesson time for this semester.

She replied that she would like to keep her Tuesday time we have previously used

but

was unsure  if she'd be able to make it every week;

a strange statement for an elderly woman who braved rain, snow, sleet and hail to make it to her lessons.

She then went on to explain

that she was diagnosed with

cancer

this past week.

Three times a week  she will be receiving radiation treatments.

She has to cut down tremendously on her daily activities and her sister offered to have her move in with her for the next three months while she receives treatments to make life easier.

But she said no.

Why?

Because if she moved in with her sister, she would be unable to continue with her group and private violin lessons.

You see, ever since she was a little girl, she has dreamed of playing the violin.

And through our university's string project,

 she was able to live that dream.

Over 50 years later, 

she is finally living her dream.

And I feel so blessed to be able to journey with her to that dream.

She then went on to explain in further detail, 

how she must keep playing.

Because every week,

she goes to a nursing home

and plays her violin for the  elderly residents of the home.

And she believes whole heartily

that it brings them healing.

and joy.

and companionship.

Feelings that they haven't felt in years. 

She finished the conversation saying that she also whole heartily believes

playing  will bring her healing and peace

as she walks through the valley of the shadow of death,

and battles cancer.

And I have no doubt that it will.

I have no doubt about the power of music,

the importance of music education,

the importance of music education not only in our schools

but for all who yearn to discover its 

healing powers

and magnificent beauty.