Saturday, June 23, 2012

On My Heart

Tonight I thought I'd share what's on my heart regarding a part of my life that has yet to be shared on this little blog. It brings me much
joy. 
frustration. 
struggle. 
happiness.
It is estimated that each day, the average American hears 5 hours of it. 
Music. 
You see, 3 years ago I made a decision that changed my life. After one semester of college, I switched from a Social Work major to a Music Education major. Up until that point, music had always just been a hobby. A hobby I did not take very seriously. 
or had much confidence in.
When I switched, a teacher of mine told me this:
There will be good days and bad days. Days when everything just clicks. Days when you find yourself in a practice room in tears...push through those days, because it'll all be worth it in the end.
This past semester seemed like just one big, bad day.  I spent more hours in tutoring than I did in actual class.  I found myself in tears of frustration and anger after  every lesson but one.
And every single day, I asked myself why I was putting myself through all this.
I hated music.
I think there comes a time in all areas of the arts, where we all reach a similar point. 
We feel as if we just don't measure up to par.
Whether it be by our own measure , a teachers, our peers , etc.
We feel as if we've given our all, but  little has come out of our efforts.
I ended this semester never wanting to play violin again.
And so I took a break. 
A nice long,
intentional break.
Until tonight.
For some reason, it just felt right to start again tonight. I played what I wanted to play, for as long as  I wanted to play.
And I loved every second of it.
With my recital approaching faster than I would like, I was sent home this summer with a list of music  from my violin professor to learn for my recital.
Not one of the pieces on the list did I suggest or have any desire to play.
So I'm not going to.
I'm going to play the pieces that I've learned over the past three years that have brought me joy.
They may not show off the skills I have or have not learned.
They may all be cliche and over played.
But I love playing them.
And some day, I hope the one thing that makes this struggle all worth it,
is seeing my own students
making music
that brings them
that same exact
joy.










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8 comments:

  1. Doing what you love is what makes life worth living. If others cannot appreciate the music that your heart and soul are poured into, then they do not deserve to hear it.

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  2. Hey lady!! I just found your cute blog via the hop and added myself to your followers! Also I’d love to have you check out a fabulous OSCAR DE LA RENTA giveaway I’m having right now!!
    Hope to see you there! And thanks so much!
    Xo, Emily

    http://emilymmeyers.blogspot.com/2012/06/oscar-de-la-renta-giveaway.html

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    Replies
    1. aww thanks! definitely checking out your giveaway :)

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  3. Definitely do what you love! A lot of people don't care for my photography, but it's what I love, it's what brings me joy. It's all about what it does for you. I bet when you play what you love, your passion for it shines so much more than some random piece.

    Good luck at your recital! I can't wait to hear about it!


    Christen :>
    www.anunordinaryhello.com

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    Replies
    1. thanks so much! I'm sure your photography is absolutely beautiful :)

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  4. hi there! coming from the hop!

    visit nichollvincent.blogspot.com!

    have a wonderful day!

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  5. Love this post. So honest. It's hard and sometimes very scary following your heart - but only you know what will make you the happiest. Good luck at your recital - I'm sure it will be amazing.

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